- Protagonist contractor Piet Hamena breaks it off with dentist's wife, Georgene Thorne, over a phone call at work.
- Protagonist account-holder Elaine Meyer breaks it off with a Chase Bank account representative over a phone call at home.
- Piet loses interest in Georgene because he begins a relationship with another woman, Elizabeth "Foxy" Whitman: Foxy is younger, new to town, and--the kicker--she's pregnant!
- I lose interest in Chase Bank because I have begun a banking relationship in Washington, D.C.: Bank of America has banking centers and ATMs in both Chicago and D.C., and one could say BoA is "pregnant" with ever-more banking centers, as it also has several abroad and claims it is still expanding (Chase, you were just too slow to expand. Banking centers in West Virginia? Sorry, not close enough).
- Piet's relationship with Foxy is known of by everyone in town except his wife, Angela, and her husband, Ken.
- My relationship with Bank of America was known by everyone except Chase--that is, everyone who cared enough to listen to my riveting story about me switching banks because I had moved.
- When Piet essentially breaks it off with Georgene, she becomes desperate, begging him to just come over and visit her for 15 minutes. Nonetheless, what she offers isn't enough to sustain a dying affair.
- When I end it with Chase, they become desperate, offering me free banking and a free account without minimum balance requirements. Nonetheless, what they offer isn't enough--my Bank of America account already has free (or "free"--they are getting my money, after all!) banking and no minimum balance requirements with direct deposit.
At least we can always call our bank if we need late night company or just want to check up on an account. After all, the customer call centers are open at all hours of the day and night, nowadays.