Never has the title of my blog been more apt

The title of my blog, "Who am I? Why am I here?" refers to a line that a confused Admiral Stockdale, Ross Perot's running mate in 1992, used at a vice-presidential debate. "Saturday Night Live" cleverly used this line in one of its skits to poke fun at his absent-mindedness. Anyway, I can relate pretty well to Admiral Stockdale right now.

It is the beginning of another quarter. First of all, I strongly despise beginnings. I am absolutely terrible with them. They are always strange, and furthermore so much is thrown at you at once. This tends to wear me down. Plus I somehow managed to schedule myself pretty full this quarter, and so I'm trying to decide if I should switch that around.

Also, I think my school is particularly problematic for someone who doesn't like beginnings because we have three beginnings, not two, since we are on a quarter system as opposed to one that runs on semesters. One of the most glaring insufficiencies of this system is the lack of time that it provides, and as a result, everything is hurried--the pace of a class, the professors, the students. It is ridiculous; no system should run in such a ridiculously hurried fashion. It is so unnecessary. One thing that anyone should know about Northwestern is how much the quarter system really does affect the tempo of the school. It is not just a mere attribute but rather a structure that shapes a typical NU student's experience here.

I am also questioning my choice of major. I like history, but I know that I don't want to do anything with history when I graduate. I don't even think that I want to go to law school. So basically I'm just tired and disillusioned and not digging this new quarter especially with the typical shitty weather that is so characteristic of this city. And gosh, what a horrible contrast to Calfornia.

California, My new crush

When I was growing up, I always figured that I would move the hell out of the Midwest as soon as the opportunity afforded itself, so basically as soon as I reached college age. The big plan was to move out to the sophisticated, intellectual, cultured East coast where, in contrast to Chicagoland, hills, gorgeous old buildings, and an interesting history are the norm.



As I sit here typing this, I find myself at Northwestern University, which is not only in the Midwest but just one town south of the town that I grew up in. I do like Northwestern a lot, and I don't really regret not living out East: too stressful, not as friendly, East coast schools can be awfully snobby. Still, until a week ago, moving out to the East after college was my main focus. If not Boston or New York, most certainly Washington D.C., but now I have a new love, and its name is California.



Granted I visited one region of the huge state for one week, but I just love it. Beautiful hills, lush vegetation, the ocean, cacti, and generally more relaxed people. Also, the weather is naturally a draw, though we had relatively chilly and cloudy weather when I visited last week (in the 60s, so that's nothing compared to what I'm used to). I think my appreciation for this sort of living corresponds in part to my increased appreciation for living a relaxed life. Back when I was enamored with the East, I was much more accustomed to a life of intellectual rigor, but I now see that there are other things more important than this way of living, for example, new and fun experiences, friends and family, and an easy going approach to life.



Anyway, California was great fun, and I love it in spite of Ah-nold. In fact, in part because of Arnold, simply because he is soo California.

The Anti-Hipster Crusade

Lately I have gotten into conversations with several people on what it means to be a hipster, and the more and more I can pinpoint the hipster phenomenon, the more I dislike it. What is a hipster? For starters, a hipster...

Shops at: Urban Outfitters, Salvation Army
Reads: David Sedaris, Zadie Smith, Dave Eggers, Salon.com
Listens to: Rufus Wainwright, Elephant 6, Stereolab, emo
Wears: Newsboy hat, horn-rimmed glasses, Vans, Blazers, Uggs (though starting to wear Uggs in irony),

According to The Hipster Handbook a hipster is: "One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck")."



If you want some more insight into the Hipster persona, sign on to Friendster and get into a few networks. You are bound to get connected to many Hipsters with ridiculous hipster profiles that you can peruse. Typical signs of a hipster on friendster:

-In the picture section has a blurry picture of himself/herself or a picture of a weird looking pet
-Has unbelievably esoteric testimonials written about them and writes equally esoteric testimonials
-Under status, lists "Open Marriage"
-Juxtaposes cool television shows/music/interests with supposedly dorky ones, e.g. following "Sex in the City" with C-span
-Has a couple totally random, unqualifiable interests that they probably have partook in once, if at all listed, e.g. "painting doors," "stealing cardigans," "post-colonial lit"
-wordy

I think that hipsterism is my generation's response to the yuppie. You see, many my age want to be yuppies, but they don't want to admit it because of the image of conspicuous consumption that comes along with the yuppie tag. So they embrace the hipster: self-deprecating yet truly self-possessed, shabby clothing but actually shabby-chic clothing, poor but actually not poor at all.

Have you have observed any hipster traits, moments, etc. that you would like to contribute for the good of this blog? If so, drop me a line or a comment.

A Tired Line

In today's Chicago Tribune, in the article "Republican aims to unite party, but divorce issue refuses to fade," about the Obama v. Ryan Senate race that I am currently enamored with, there is a quote from Steve Rauschenberger, a state senator from Elgin and an opponent of Jack Ryan's in the Republican primary. It follows,

"Barack is well-spoken, and he's very bright, but he's very liberal. He's to the left of almost everybody in the [state] Senate on most of the issues," Rauschenberger said. "And he's just another Chicago Democrat."

Now if that's not the most inane comment, I don't know what is. It seems as if once again, the Republican party will try to campaign against their Democratic opponent by calling him "liberal" and a "Chicago Democrat." Of course, they don't offer us any reason as to why it is bad for someone to be a liberal or a Chicago Democrat. I guess the latter is supposed to appeal to downstate folks because, they are so far removed from the city, but the use of these supposedly loaded terms on the part of the Republican party is getting pretty old. I mean, in every campaign they call their opponent a liberal and expect to go on that. It didn't work against our current governor, Rod Blagojevich who is, from Chicago!!God forbid they actually give people some reasons why they should vote against Obama as opposed to bringing out their trusty epithets.



P.S., Some other Illinois Senate Race items:
According to the Chicago Tribune's Ellen Warren, this is what the IL Senate Race will amount to:
Obama: Black, lean, articulate, Columbia University ('83) undergrad, Harvard Law School vs.
Ryan: White, lean, articulate, Dartmouth undergrad, Harvard Business School.

Also, Obama "does have the most famous millionaire celebrity supporter, Chicago icon Michael Jordan, who contributed $10,000 to the Obama campaign." I wanna be like Mike!

Another Great Quiz

My Actual Results:

You're Pale Fire!



by Vladimir Nabokov

You're really into poetry and the interpretation thereof. Along the
road of life, you have had several identity crises which make it very unclear who you
are, let alone how to interpret poetry. You probably came from a foreign country, but
then again you seem foreign to everyone in ways unrelated to immigration. Most people
think you're quite funny, but maybe you're just sick. Talking to you ends up being much
like playing a round of the popular board game Clue.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

My ideal results:

You're The Great Gatsby!

by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Having grown up in immense wealth and privilege, the world is truly at
your doorstep. Instead of reveling in this life of luxury, however, you spend most of
your time mooning over a failed romance. The object of your affection is all but
worthless--a frivolous liar--but it matters not to you. You can paint any image of the
past you want and make it seem real. If you were a color of fishing boat light, you
would be green.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Ah well, at least I didn't get Lolita...

A Senate Race Between Two Lookers

So the results are in, and Democrat Barack Obama will be running against Republican Jack Ryan in the U.S. Senate race for the state of Illinois (my state). This is going to be a very important race, since the Senate is so closely divided between Republicans and Democrats.

According to the Chicago Tribune,
Democrat Barack Obama and Republican Jack Ryan are both Harvard educated, loaded with charisma and sport made-for-TV good looks, but that's about where the similarites end...

Indeed, both men are attractive. I'm not so biased as to deny Jack Ryan's physical appeal.



And Barack Obama:


Geez, I don't remember the last time that there was such attracitveness in a political campaign. This is rare, folks. Of course, I am still strongly for Obama: he is incredibly experienced, the best kind of liberal, very bright, a nearly perfect candidate.

(Interestingly, Ryan lives in Wilmette, where I'm from. Funny, I've never seen him at Walker Brothers or the Plaza de Lago Starbucks, but I wouldn't mind it. LOL)

Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: -4.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.41

So I'm most in line with Nelson Mandela and the Dalai Lama.


And, yikes....

Dennis Kucinich and Al Sharpton.

Take the Political Compass test.

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

In the last two weeks, I have written three papers, a combined total of 45 pages, been through a true scare of almost losing six pages worth of a 20+ -pager, and thrown my hands in the air many a time, gone over to the TV and turned on Bravo or found someone to talk to and something to laugh about. Yes, laughter still exists in a Northwestern final exam week, but it suffers a bit of a drought from all the work and as a result must be irrigated by breaking oneself away from the studies.

Anyway, I feel that the fact that I will be in San Diego in four days is almost to good to be true. Sunny? 70s? In March? California? These concepts are almost foreign to me. Anyway, can't wait.

Song: "This Girl's In Love With You," Dionne Warick

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Oh it's so much fun, quick, a great study break. I'll take your quiz if you'll take mine ;-)

More High Fidelity stuff. Mainly, I just want to suggest to you all one of the greatest movie quotes of all time, from this awesome film:

Barry: Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the 80s and 90s? Go... sub-question... is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?

James Lipton is priceless

James Lipton, in his interview with Kate Winslet on "Inside the Actor's Studio". 14 Mar 2004

"We come now to a phenomenon called...TITANIC."

"Finally the question I would be remiss not to ask: Tell me what it was like to work with Leonardo DiCaprio."

The Classroom:

"What is your favorite word?" "What is your least favorite word?" "What turns you on?"

Kate's answers: Love, hell, my husband

My friends, this man is priceless.


Song: "Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing" Stevie Wonder
Food: yogurt-coated raisins

Let's all face it: Movies set in Chicago are the bomb, and Chicago just is the bomb

Today was one of the most productive days of television that I have ever known. It all started with a Being John Malkvoich showing on Bravo--just the best fucking cable station in the books--than two episodes of "Queer Eye," came on, then the peak came when I was at my baby-sitting job with all of their crazy DirectTV movie channels and THE FUGITIVE came on and then when I get back to the house, we change the station to Bravo (again, I love Bravo) just as HIGH FIDELITY is beginning! Two movies set in Chicago and one about a man born near Chicago and very much of Chicago (i.e. John Malkovich) all in one night!

If one reviews all of the films that take place in Chicago--that have actually been filmed here--one cannot help but be amazed at the high level of greatness that these movies attain when averaged together. Blues Brothers, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles, Home Alone, The Fugitive, High Fidelity, Road to Perdition, hell My Best Friend's Wedding even (though they had some geographical difficulties with their filming).

Oh, and screw all of the movies that purport to be set in Chicago but are freaking filmed in Toronto (cough cough My Big Fat Greek Wedding and sin of all sins, Chicago itself) or even worse in Manhattan (as much as I lovvvve Meet the Parents, it is a cardinal sin to try to pass off Manhattan or any section of NYC as Chicago).

A true Chicago movie is filmed here because the city has a certain aura about it, a certain je ne sais quoi if you will (haha sorrrry, sooo pretentious!). But yes, Chicago is a grounded city with tons of character, and when a filmmaker chooses to shoot here, they have a clear idea of what they want.


Now, a word about a couple of these great Chicago movies. First, High Fidelity: it is just an excellent film. One of my friends hates it because she thinks the main character, Rob Gordon, is a self-centered prick and the movie is a male whine-fest, if I understand her correctly. In my opinion, one of the most impressive feats of High Fidelity is the complex portrayal of Rob: he's self-centered yes and at times in desperate need of a good stroking of his ego, but he's incredibly endearing and the self-preoccupied aspect of him is mocked throughout the film, not championed. And on a final note and just two simple words: Jack Black.


Alright, as for The Fugitive, it is a brilliant movie. I never really appreciated it before tonight, but it has a very clever plot and uses its setting expertly. A successful surgeon, Richard Kimble, becomes the number one suspect in his wife's murder, and as he runs from the law he determinedly hunts for the man who actually killed his wife. Not only is The Fugitive set in Chicago but it utilizes the city brilliantly. For one thing, Chicago Memorial Hospital, where Kimble and his prestigious, opportunistic, and dare I say seducitve? friend, the neurologist Dr. Charles Nichols work is clearly supposed to be Northwestern Memorial Hospital, the top hospital in Chicago (next to U. of Chicago I suppose). Having worked for a Northwestern Memorial medical practice, I must say these doctors seem so fittingly Northwestern. Particularly Dr. Nichols who is rather cocky and is involved in a high paying pharamaceutical study that turns out as a very interesting and in fact vital piece in The Fugitive's complex plot. Another great Chicago moment in The Fugitive is an expert chase scene that takes place at the city's annual St. Patrick's Day parade in the Loop.

Now you can see why I had such a good television day. I must say, if I go out of my way and choose to watch television all day, the results just doesn't get any better than this.

P.S. An entry about how much I love this great city, the White City, the city that I was born in, lived in, have worked in, have been entertained in, have so many memories about, well that entry will come at a later date.

Andrew Lloyd Webber: Like bacon, I don't really get it

All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you,
always beside me,
to hold me
and to hide me...

All of my life I have taken the existence of Andrew Lloyd Webber and his widely beloved musicals like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Cats, Jesus Christ Superstar (Andy, he loves the religious musical epics), and of course The Phantom of the Opera for granted. At the age that I was beginning to acclimate myself to culture and the arts, Joseph--a piece of anti-culture if there ever was one--was a big hit on the Chicago stage. Donny Osmond, who starred as Joseph even lived in my town with is family while he was in the play, and everyone was going to see it.

Now my family is the anti-Andrew Lloyd Webber family. I think that is a great way to describe us in fact. Webber is the embodiment of popular culture: his plays are visual feasts--light spectaculars and high technology sets, and he takes stuff from the Bible fercryinoutlod and adapts it to musicals, and not subdued musicals, no, musicals with intense costumes and lights and melodrama and lots and lots of singing. So these audience-grabbing plays may appeal to the masses nationwide--Cats for example is the longest running musical both on Broadway and on tour--but my family never really liked mass culture-sanctioned works. We were out seeing Gilbert & Sullivan operettas, and as I've explained earlier, I was more of a Rodgers and Hammerstein girl. I lived my life deprived of any firsthand Andrew Lloyd Webber Experience (hey doesn't that sound like a title of one of his musicals?). I got a taste of the music from Phantom and Joseph through various channels, and it sounded very good. Based on all of his plays' popular appeal, I was essentially under the impression that Andrew Lloyd Webber was a genius and his work was ordained by god, at least in the sense that it would be an incomplete world if Cats and Phantom did not exist.



So finally last night, I partook, for the first time, in a viewing of an Andrew Lloyd Webber masterpiece: The Phantom of the Opera. It was everything I expected and more: I mean holy lord there was a freaking SYNTHESIZER!! When the haunted chandelier fell (oooh sppooookyyy), the "Phantom of the Opera" music started playing with synthesizer flourishes. The play itself is an incredibly wacky idea, and I guess it is based on a book so we cannot totally blame Lloyd Webber: set in a Paris opera house (Paris had opera? cool.) Phantom tells the story of a magnificent opera singer named Christine Daaé whose beautiful voice is the product of secret singing lessons from a Phantom who lives in the depths of the opera house. When wealthy opera patron Raoul (Raoul!? wtf?! that's not a French name!!) declares his love to Christine on the rooftop with the Paris skyline as a backdrop (how romantic) the Phantom overhears and goes wild. Anyway, the tiny problem of having a Phantom haunting an opera house gets a little out of control in the play's second act. Of course it all ends well, but the inquisitive audience member is left lingering on a certain thought: what the hell just happened here? A play about a man with a half-white mask who haunts the opera with his doctrine of fear while imbuing the love of his life with an irreclicably beautiful voice. All set to the tone of a synthesizer. And Americans love this shit. Only Andrew Lloyd Webber.

The Inevitable Post About Guys (we all knew it was coming)

Men. Boys. Whatever. One of my favorite things about them is that they claim to be mystified by women. I have heard many a time that we are "complicated" while they are "simple." We are the gender that is hard to figure out, not them. Their needs are basic and material: food, sex, video games; our needs are complex and abstract: emotional stability, the assurance that we are engaged in meaningful relationships, and a bunch of other crazy unquantifiable things.

Myself, I think that all of the above is crap. I think that men and women both have very complex needs along with very simple ones, and I hate to hear guys say how unreadable and overly complicated girls are because it is simply. not. true. Actually, a better way to put it is that guys are equally as unreadable to girls as girls are to guys.

Also I'll make a generalization here which is that, each gender generalizes about the other gender. Girls say guys by nature don't want to committ, guys say girls are unpredictable. If someone gets hurt in a relationship, this person tends to view all members of their partner's gender through the same lens as that which they view their partner. So if a person's partner was noncommittal, the whole gender is noncomittal, etc.

Also, on a related note, can I just say how much I hate noticeable public displays of affection? I don't like to be a fascist about it, but it's so annoying when people can't keep their hands off of each other in public places. I would honestly feel embarassed for how incredibly pathetic they look if these overt PDAs didn't frustrate me so much.

I Met Chris Klein!!

Tonight I went to a free screening of a soon to be released movie called The United States of Leland and my friends and I met Chris Klein, one of the movie's stars. Yes, you may know him from American Pie and as Katie Holmes's boyfriend. He was a nice guy and signed the back of my ticket. Haha, I know I'm a nerd but it was okay because lots of people were getting his autograph so we're all star-struck dorks. What would I ever do if I were to meet Paul Newman? haha!



During Q&A Session after Movie:
Precocious Female Audience Member: Were you trying to go all Oedipus [in terms of a particular casting decision in the film]?
The director Matthew Ryan Hoge basically answers that no, he was not.
Chris Klein: ....I mean whatever turns you on

haha!

Another lame quiz, but the picture is pretty cute, I must say. Gaaahhhh, ok 1 o clock, so I'm going to work on my paper outline finally, and then take more quizzes!!


You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Charlton Heston Reads the Bible

Tonight Kat and Melissa stumbled on a new television feat, and it is called Charlton Heston Presents the Bible. This inspired video series (for only one easy payment of $39.95) presents Heston, yes, reading The Holy Book in very authentic settings. Authentic settings such as Jerusalem, where I've heard a few important things happened back in the day. It doesn't get much more real than that. I swear to god (haha sorry!).



So what prompted Charlton to embark on this biblical tour de force? According to the product's web site--good lord, I can't believe I'm promoting this video (there I go again with those irresistable god puns!!)--there is a very special reason behind this audio-visual rendition of the Good Book (the God book?). According to Charlton,

"Ever since playing Moses in The Ten Commandments I've felt a deep, personal connection with the Bible which remains as vivid and vital today as when it was told around campfires centuries before there was any written language."



And now for some viewer comments,

“Charlton Heston was just amazing.”
-Doris Quiros

“He does tell these stories with a sense of passion.”-Father Patrick Dorsey, S.J.

“I don’t think you ever get tired of hearing these stories over and over.”-Beverly Riehm
(hahah over and over....and over and over...)

And these comments are not restricted to just one religion folks; Charlton's series is interdenominational, in fact even a rabbi approves highly!

The poor saps who loved "Charlton Heston Presents the Bible" and the rest of us who have to go about our lives knowing that there are people like these folks out there.

And here is perhaps one of the most depressing thing that I have ever read:

“Watching the Charlton Heston videos makes you feel that you’re not alone in the world.”--Maureen Frazer

Man, so fucking crazy. Amen.

Why am I up at this hour taking the lamest quiz ever???


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"You're quite a good chicken strangler as I recall!"

There's a line in the Alfred Hitchcock movie Rope that I have always found interesting. In the movie, two old boarding school friends, Brandon and Philip, decide that it will be creative and worthwhile to murder a third school friend of theirs', David. They have supposedly learned the value of a good murder from Rupert, their boarding school housemaster (played by Jimmy Stewart), who used to advance the Nietschzehan idea that some human beings are more worthwhile than others. Anyway, after this murder, they hide David's body in the main room of their apartment and have Rupert and several others (including David's family!! and girlfriend! pretty twisted, eh?) over for dinner. The line in question is spoken by Rupert. I believe it goes,
"Ah, Mrs. Wilson, I'm going to marry her some day."



He is referring to the rather um...unattractive..maid who Brandon and Philip have in their service. I have never been sure if Rupert truly wants to marry Mrs. Wilson (okay, probably not), or if the line is supposed to suggest that he is gay since he is unmarried and the idea that a man of his appearance (it's Jimmy frickin Stewart!) would consider marrying Mrs. Wilson, well it must be said in jest by a gay man right. Brandon and Philip are clearly gay, although the movie doesn't ever state it, and since they are disciples of Rupert, well yeah, and the whole movie has various implications.

That's all.

I scored a 92% on the "how new trier are you?" Quizie! What about you?



Honestly, I am really not very New Trier relative to most Trevians. I think anyone who knew me in high school can attest to that. Never have I owned a Range Rover, a Bebe t-shirt or a bra strap headband (ah freshman year), a North Face jacket (i know, i know! but everyone has one), a Michael Starr shirt (junior year), etc. Hell, my parents don't even have the much vaunted sticker on either of our cars. Oh and I think my favorite New Trier relic has to be the Writing Center t-shirt that I still have.

Anyway, for all of you New Trier lovers (or haters because I know there are many of you), proceed to the How New Trier are You? quiz.