Sunday, July 10, 2005

Beyond Balderdash: The Zenith of Board Game Experiences

Tonight I had the most enjoyable board game experience ever, and that is saying a lot! I played Beyond Balderdash with family and friends. In the game, there are cards that list several categories: people, initials, movies, dates, and words, all esoteric and strange.

Each player makes up a plausible definition or description to fit the person/date/movie/word/initials in question, and once through, all of the made-up definitions along with one real one (unknown to players) are read, and each person tries to guess which is right.

We had some pretty funny descriptions in our game, and since I am still reeling with laughter from the whole thing, I will provide a few.

In the person category

Towanik Makutin (correct answer was: "Arabian math whiz who invented the zero symbol")
  • "the first secretary general of the United Nations"
  • "founder of the Freestyle Felons, the pioneering Makutin is often referred to as the godfather of gangster rap by hip-hop aficionados"
  • "Belgian sharecropper credited with the idea of a bicycle's front wheel being equal in size to the back wheel"
Doris von Kappelhoff (correct answer was: "Doris Day's real name")
  • "first woman ever to sing a non-love song"
  • "New York homemaker who became the first person to claim a UFO sitting"
  • "...took a 'Das Boot' to your face"
Timothy Hoare (correct answer was: "Believe-it-or-not, he owned a goose named Pinkie that did card tricks while blindfolded")
  • "founder of the United Kingdom Soccer Alliance"
  • "white man punched in the kidney for defending Rosa Parks in the Montgomery bus incident"
  • "won second place to that Little Japanese guy in the National Hot Dog Eating Contest"
  • "serial killer famous for using household objects as weapons" (that was my rather creepy one; I'm going to have nightmares now)
  • and the most depressing one ever: "Child actor who appeared in one feature-length film in 1967 before descending into a crippling heroin addiction"
J.W. Dobereiner (correct answer was: "the inventor of the first cigarette lighter")
  • "German man who holds the world record for amount of bratwursts eaten at one sitting"
  • "the ex-German sausage tycoon who retired to breed the first miniature dogs"
  • "devoured 14 live seagulls without but a fart" (that of course, was my brother's)
August 26, 1920 (correct answer was "American women were given the right to vote")
  • "On this balmy day in Chicago, Miranda Schoppenstein became the first flagpole sitter to be photographed, beginning the national craze"
February 29, 1984 (correct answer was "Canadian Prime Minister, Pierre Trudeau, resigned")
  • "the day Anheuser-Busch introduced Natural Light to the beer market"
  • "'She's a Maniac' first appeared on the Billboard Top Ten"
  • "the last time cocaine was ever snorted"
  • "the date an obituary writer caused an unparalleled panic when he announced that Mr. T had died"
December 15, 1939 (correct answer was: "Gone with the Wind had its gala opening")
  • "Actor Tyrone Power publicly declares he will enlist in the war effort, as the first ever film star to do so"
  • "Christmas is cancelled. Jesus has risen and judged the world to be unfit. Santa will fight Jesus to the death or face a holy apocalypse"
  • "Frank Alvarez's personal llama sets a world record for length"
The Girl Downstairs (correct answer was: "Cinderella-style story about a wealthy European playboy who chooses his maid over his mistress")
  • "A romantic comedy about two tenants in a NY apartment, one of which is a young girl and the other a ghost"
Do You Like Women? (correct answer was: "rival gangs of women eaters do battle in Paris, France")
  • "A hot-to-trot gang of lawyers must decide between their careers and plus-sized swimsuit models"
  • "As thoughtful as it is provocative, this film was the first pornographic feature to place at the Berlin Film Festival"
Dirty Laundry (correct answer was HILARIOUS: "a bumbling schnook gets screwed up with gangsters when his laundry is mixed up with a million bucks in drug money")
  • "a romantic thriller about two college students who attempt to rob the same all-night Laundromat and simultaneously find themselves falling for each other and their other schemes"
  • "Harvy Keitel is a detective hired to pose as a gay cyclist in this 1983 slapstick"
The Last Laugh (correct answer was: "a hotel doorman is demoted to washroom attendant, but gets even when he comes into a lot of money"-I've actually seen this movie!)
  • "Sweet, sweet revenge. Guy gets girl, other guy steals girl, first guy wins in a spectacular cage match to the death"
  • "After the attack of the aliens in the War of the Worlds Tom Cruise is still not satisfied with survival only. He will have revenge on the aliens and most definitely get the LAST LAUGH!"
  • "Emilio Estevez is a vaudeville star forced to retire because of his inability to remember his partner's name"
BBFU (correct answer was: "Beach Boys Freaks United")
  • "Barry Bostwick Fan Union"
  • "Backyard Barbecuing Fathers United"
  • "Boston Baked Funnel Union"
  • "Blind Boat-farers Union"
  • "The Bold, Bald, Flatulating Underdogs"

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